Short conversations

Sometimes the short conversations are as interesting as the long ones....at least to me.

Scenario #1
Sweetheart and I were watching numerous birds in the wet grass outside the window.

Me--They are just splashing around.
Him--They're looking for something to eat. Probably eating Spencer's shit.
Me--Well, at least that's better than watching Spencer eat his own shit.
Him--Yep, I guess so.

Scenario #2
Granddaddy is making the niece (age 7) and the nephew (age 4) go to the bathroom before leaving the house. (Remember those days?? "Everyone must pee before getting into the car.")

Nephew--Look, Big Sister, I can pee without pulling down my big boy pants. I just put my penis through this hole.
Niece--Not. Interested. (Moves on to the next thing without further response.)


***I feel just a bit bad about posting this before my sister even hears the story, but Pops doesn't have a blog, and she's been too busy to post much at her place.