The post that didn't make sense

This post is not going to make sense, and I know that in advance. It is 6 in the morning, and I am awake. If I were working, I might be tolerable, but I just called in, go you figure it out.

I woke up with csats yammering at the door, a huge headache from drugs (legal) and pain in my back and hip. I was also dreaming that Sweetheart thought I had a drug problem and insisted on confronting me in front of the kids and his ex.

I know my back is a mess because I worked two 10 hour shifts, and I will be going to my doctor to get a note that I cannot work that long. I know I have a shitty back, but I signed up for 8 hour shifts for a reason. Ugh.

There were two deaths in my personal neighborhood this week. My aunt who was 54 years old with a 19 year old daughter died from a respiratory disease. She had been in the hospital a couple of weeks, and I thought this would be the outcome. Since the funeral was in Charlotte yesterday, I knew I wouldn't make it--particularly as we are having our family reunion this weekend. How strange is that. However, as my father said, "There isn't any good place to be, so might as well have them where peoplc care about them."

The other death was my best friend's father. He also had been sick for a while and was of a more appropriate age. It was interesting that I felt more compelled to see her and hug her neck than my uncle's. I do love my uncle and cousin, but they aren't part of my routine. My friend is. I talk to her at least twice a week, and definitely feel more connected. Turns out the reunion is just a bit too far for me to drive over to see her--unless she calls and says, "okay--get here no matter what." So far, she and her mom are doing great and things are not at that point.

I think ir will make the reunion a bit weird. We already have my sister's Can't Come Soon Enough Divorce on the table for discussion, and now this. I think it will be more light hearted than it sounds (we all use humor to deal with stress), but that is what it will be.

To be honest, I am selfishly hoping that the girls have fun with the pack of cousins, Sweetheart gets some quiet time to get to know my family, and I get time to sit on my ass and paint my toenails. Anything else is a bonus. All this can only happen after we get the girls packed (god help us), so wish me luck!