The fatness

Blame this rant/stream of consciousness on Ms. Pants. I mean that in a good way. There has been some discussion about weight, plus size clothes, prejudice against fat people, etc. Rather than dumping my brain in her comments, I thought I'd do it here. One commenter said something to the effect that "we shouldn't make it easier for fat people."

I was one of thos really "hateable" skinny people when I was in my teens and twenties. I didn't exercise, I ate whatever-the-fuck I wanted, and I was small. I remember shopping for clothes at that time in my life. It was as simple as finding something I liked, could afford, and that was in stock in my (small) size. I did not have to make sure that my stomach that gains weight like a man was hidden. I never had to be certain that the fat part of my thighs wasn't blobbing out around my underpants. I never had to buy "smoosh it all in" undergarments. Shopping was easy. I used to like having my picture taken. I could smile, act goofy, do whatever when it was taken. I didn't have to worry about the angle of my body. I didn't think at all about how many chins might show up in any given pose. Anyone who thinks that things are "easy" for fat people is wrong.

I think it is an accurate self assessment to say that I didn't make myself fat. I turned 30, I turned 40, I quit smoking. I did not start eating donuts by the dozens, whole pizzas, or ice cream by the gallon. I don't think my eating/exercising habits changed very much at all. I found myself gaining weight, and did not get a handle on it fast enough. I do not blame anyone except myself for my weight, but I also do not pile barrels of guilt upon myself either. I don't like my weight, but I still like myself.

I worry about the effect my weight has on my stepdaughters. I worry about the effect society has on my stepdaughters. I don't know what the solution is, but I do know that it isn't simple. I also know that skinny people blaming fat people and fat people hating skinny people isn't it.