Munchausen's syndrome

There was another recent story in the local newspaper that made me sad and a bit confused. A mother was found guilty of injury to a child for convincing doctors to perform unnecessary surgeries on one of her kids. The article online prompted many comments that also accused the physicians and said it would be impossible for the mother to fool a "competent" physician.

I know it seems difficult to believe, but I certainly know it can be done. The two surgeries the mother had done were the placement of a nerve stimulator for a seizure disorder, and a feeding button to treat poor feeding and nutrition. I believe that the child did have a documented seizure disorder. He was on medication, and the mother reported that he continued having seizures. There is essentially no way that a physician can prove that the child wasn't having seizures. The child also was underweight and not gaining. If the mother reported loss of appetite, vomiting or diarrhea and the child's weight corroborated it--no reason to doubt her.

So much of diagnosis has to do with history. With a child as a patient, unable to provide his own history, a mother who is seriously disturbed could misrepresent symptoms. It wouldn't be the physician's first or second thought that the mother was exaggerating or lying about failing to feed a child, or reporting seizures that did not really happen. This is a real disease, but it is not a common one. My understanding is that suspicions arose when the mother herself became ill and the child had a miraculous improvement when not in her care.

Having a truly ill child is a terrible thing, however, for an unstable parent, there can be secondary gains. I see the level of support and caring that mothers develop in a few short hours in the waiting room. Imagine being one of many mothers on a hospital unit for an extended time period. For a woman with few friends, this can have a huge impact. This woman had gathered contributions of $150,000 over a five year period. Mothers of sick kids are seen as unselfish, loving, great mothers. The hospital is perceived as a better place to be than with a miserable spouse or a wretched job.

This falls into the same category as anorexia for me. I understand the concept, but I just can't really conceive of what it feels like to be inside of it.

I took care of a child in Atlanta whose mother had this disease. Even with close supervision in the hospital she managed to do things to make her child ill. She would switch out formula bottles and give him medicine he did not need. When he was in the hospital he had no witnessed seizures, and he got better. Every time he went home he became sicker. We finally sent them to a hospital with a hidden camera, but that is the only such hospital room I have ever heard of. Even with that, it was difficult to find firm evidence that she was harming her child. I don't think that woman was ever prosecuted.

Perhaps I am prattling on about things that nobody else will find interesting, but I had all these ideas about what I had read, and where better to put it than in my blog?

Tids and bits

I totally suck as a blogger to be doing two bullet posts in a row, but if I waited until I had the time and brain power to write a real one, it would be forever.

***I started on a new sinus medication last week. I have felt exhausted every day, and I finally figured it out when I had time to more fully research the drug. Turns out the advice is to take it at NIGHT because it causes drowsiness. Thanks doc!

***When I went to the grocery store this week, perhaps I looked like the Shell Answer Man because I helped one guy pick out salsa, another man find the shampoo his wife requested, and a woman find the right beer for a party her husband was having.

***The girls have gotten their ears pierced, another sign they are not little kids any more. Sigh.

***I went to get a new pair of glasses Thursday. Due to the fact that I am so freaking blind (20/400 in my good eye and "off the chart" in my bad eye), my lenses are really expensive. Turns out my insurance pays for the frames and only gives a 20% insurance on the frames. With what I pay for the insurance I saved a mere 79 dollars from what it would have been without insurance. Doesn't really seem like reasonable to me.

***We went to the big fundraiser for the non-profit where my husband works this week. The tickets were very steep for attendees who had to pay, so there were many of Houston's old money folks there. The dress code was to wear green chic clothes. There were sequins, silk and seersucker in every shade of green. People were wearing mint, olive, kelly and seafoam--sometimes in very odd combinations. Evidently, if you have a shitload of money and spend a nice chunk of it to support a non-profit, you can wear whatever green clothing you happen to have in your closet--no matter how it looks.

***The goal for the weekend is to finally get the dining room unpacked. Once that is done, I can start on some of my other projects.

Anything exciting about your weekend??

Odds and ends

****I now am the somewhat sheepish owner of a neti pot. I had seen them before, and Fianna swears by hers. It is a bit weird, but has been easier each time. All it takes is really, really bad allergies and one will do anything. Even this.....



****I am now a member of Paperback Swap. My sister told me about it a while ago, but when I first checked it out there were't many books I was interested in. I checked again after a disappointing trip to the used book store, and it appears that their numbers have increased greatly. I have two books headed my way as I type this, and more credits coming soon. If you read paperbacks but do not keep the books, I recommend checking it out.


****I have been on a hunt for some cute, slightly dressier than not flip flops for more than a year. I busted out the toe thingie of my favorite ones last year and had them repaired. I was in a terrible funk when I busted out the repair again this year, but shopping today for a different pair of shoes, I found some. I don't love them as much as I did the last pair, but at least they are comfy and leather. I can't believe how long it took me to find them.

****Is it just me, or are there far less people watching American Idol this year? I still love Brooke and Jason (though I don't think either will or should win), and I can't wait to hear what David Cook does next. David Archuletta has a good voice, but he looks like such a baby that I can't take him seriously. I'm sure the producers want him to win because he will be more malleable in his career.

Thanks to Sophie for letting me fix the coding in this post. Due to my OCD tendencies and quirks in Firefox, my brain was about to e'splode and my braims were about to leak out of my head.

Which is worse?

Sleeping from 4-8pm because of laryngitis and allergies?

Waking up to 5 frantic messages from your husband because one of his oldest friends got stuck at the Houston airport and is coming to your house in 1 hour?

Answer--both simultaneously.

I started the week with allergies--like all but a very few Houston residents, from what I can gather. This time, instead of pudding in my sinus cavities, I had a sore throat and the sniffles. Then I lost my voice yesterday. Or I thought I lost my vice yesterday. Today, I REALLY lost it. One of my co-workers asked questions, and I took vital signs and wrote. Incredibly inconvenient.

I never had any idea how much energy it took to generate sound when your vocal cords are on strike. I will never take someone losing their voice lightly again. I've been sympathetic, but I never really understood. I have only gotten laryngitis three times in my life, and this is the second time in 3 months or so. I need to find a new doctor who is on my plan and see if I need allergy shots or something. I can't stand getting sick this much, and frankly, my work isn't thrilled about it either.

The house is minus the top layer of filth, and there is nothing toxic around to the best of my knowledge. Hubby said, "You don't need to do anything, he won't care," but I have to give him credit because he knows I would. However, with less than an hour and feeling puny, I got over it for the most part.

PS--Sorry I scared everyone except Star and Pants with my weird musings on burials.

Is anyone doing anything fun this weekend?? I'm taking a vow of silence.

Because I need another reason to get my panties in a wad

The Sun has an article about push up bras being marketed to 7 year olds. From the photos it looks to be Cherokee which is one of the main Target names. For the love of god don't let them start selling that shit here, because if I have to boycott the big T, I would weep very long and large tears.

What the hell are they doing selling these bras on the same rack (pun noted, but unintended) as the t5raining bras?? I think adult women should use their own judgement (or lack thereof) and buy whatever kind of bra they desire. However, push up bras do not belong with the little girls' panties! Our kids are too sexualized already, with the sweat pants that say "Juicy" and the clothes that show their navels. They don't exactly have great role models in the popular culture. My not yet 10 year old who is a stick is worried about her "stomach being fat." Holy shit! No wonder everything is so screwed up!

I seriously need a title writer

Not very long ago, there was a television show discussing a practice once common in Tibet called a "sky burial." The body is cut into pieces and placed on a mountaintop to be consumed by animals, birds of prey, or the elements. I had previously thought that I wanted to be cremated, but this seems far better to me. However, as it is fairly unlikely I will be in Tibet when I die, and I think it would be far too difficult for some of my family to deal with, I began to look at other options.

There is a process called Promession during which the body is submerged in liquid nitrogen causing the remains to be so brittle that they shatter to powder resulting in 30% of the original volume. Also sounding good, but I would hazard a guess that it isn't cheap.

Then I found information about Natural Burials. The body is prepared without chemical preservatives, and instead of metal or plastic caskets, an eco friendly wood, a shroud, wicker or paper is used. Family and friends can even decorate the paper if they choose to do so. Generally native trees or shurbs are planted instead of a traditional tombstone, and the site can be marked with a flat stone also native to the location. Centralized records are kept with coordinates of each person's location, as the actual burial site will be difficult to locate without them.

I found a place here in Texas, and they detailed more specific practices. The graves must be dug by hand or using minimal equipment. No hearse is required for transport, and you can have your pets (up to four) buried with you. I guess it is also unlikely that I will be living in Texas when I die, but I will certainly be looking for a similar place when we move on. I think the cost is very close to that of a cremation, and I am reading more and more about how cremation is not very eco friendly. Yes, I am a bit odd, and I know most people don't spend time researching this kind of stuff when they are healthy, but I am fascinated by what I have read.

A few of my favorite things

Since my last post was about some of the things that irritate the shit out of me, I thought I'd make this one about some of the things that I love.



Honey crisp apples are the most perfect apples I have ever tasted. They are the perfect combination of sweet, tart, crisp, wonderful. We first got them at Whole Foods, and Kroger carried them for a while and then stopped. I don't usually get excited about produce, but these are marvelous.



Bath Junkie is not available nationwide, but it is a cool place where you can choose your own colors and scent combinations. Sweetheart created my own personal scent for a gift a while back, and I love it. (I can't tell you the flavors he mixed, because then it won't be *mine.* The color, of course, is purple.



Gilligan O'Malley pajamas from Target. Comfy, inexpensive, I wish I could live in them.



Good Seasons salad dressing. The packages come with a cruet with lines to tell you how much oil, water, and vinegar to add. As a kid, it was one of my kitchen jobs to do the mixing. One time Mother asked why it was always clumpy when she made it but not when I did. She was a bit sheepish when I pointed out the directions said to shake before adding the oil. I had read them, she had not. It's good the regular way, but adding garlic red wine vinegar instead of the regular stuff makes it perfect.



Henri's Bakery in Atlanta has the best po boys in the universe, and the best eclairs and shortbread thumbprint cookies. The best comfort food I have ever had.



When I'm not in Atlanta, Breyer's mint chocolate chip ice cream is a good substitute for comfort food. Sweetheart doesn't like mint, so when I buy it, I get the whole thing to myself.

So, what are the things that make your world a happier place??

Irritants

I have had a fairly crappy few days, but instead of railing against the specific entities who are making my life and my sister's life qualify as extremely sub optimal, I thought I would instead present some general complaints about the universe. These are some of the many things that I find unacceptable and would outlaw if I were the Queen of Everything....

Pedestrians who cross the street yards away from a crosswalk

Drivers who do not respect the right of way of pedestrians who are in the crosswalk

Idiots who do not know how to negotiate a 4 way stop

Their counterparts who cannot understand that if a stoplight is out it should be treated as a 4 way stop

Parents who let their children wear wheelies at the airport

Parents who let their children wander around the grocery store unsupervised

People who are driving motorized carts in the grocery store and think they always have the right of way (sue me--I'm sorry they need the chair, but I didn't do it--please don't run into my cart)

Cats who try to kill me by running in between my legs, tripping me and causing me to have a subdural hematoma after falling and hitting my head on the kitchen counter--I'd prefer not to die like that--it is simply too complicated for an obituary, and people would laugh at me.

People who do not practice elevator etiquette. If I was the person who actually pushed the "up" button, I should not have to fight to squeeze in after everyone else climbs in.

McDonald's employees who put a "made to order" sticker on my kids burgers and still put onions on it. I realize this should not ruin anybody's day, but, believe me, it can.

Spam email--my dick does not need to be hard enough to "pound nails."

Phone recordings that tell you how much "my patience is appreciated" every 2 minutes, thus consuming the little patience I had when I started.

I actually think that helped decrease my stress level, just a bit.

So tell me, what gets you?

It's hard to have a little brother

However, it does get better. Punkin Head remains unconvinced, and yes Fianna, she is 7--but not your average 7 year old.

She has grown weary of her baby brother lately, and the door to her room is adorned accordingly.


I asked her if the number of signs was a bit of overkill. She answered, "Well, he won't stay out of my room, so I just keep putting up more signs." I asked, "Do you think that he will pay more attention the more signs you have?" "Yes," she answered. "Good luck with that, okay?" was my matter of fact response.

I thought a few of the signs merited a closer look....

I appreciate the "Girls Rule" concept, but I don't think as highly of the "Boys Drool" idea, particularly with the drooling illustrated.

The left hand sign says "Boys beware, boyfighters inside." The right one has three rules: Boys may not come near room, boys cannot touch things, and boys must pay three times a month. I'm unclear what the payment is for, since nothing is allowed.


Evidently, bossy girls are nearly as bad as boys. I wonder how she gets past the door.....because she isn't at all bossy, is she?

Weekend

I had a good, but all too short weekend in Atlanta. My flight Friday was delayed for four hours, so it was after midnight when I arrived.

The first thing Punkin Head said to me was, "Do you have any babies in your womb?"

The first thing Monkey Boy said was, "I'm not a monkey boy, I'm a cockroach."

I think that about sums it up.

When I arrived at work, I had an incredibly unpleasant meeting with my managers. I won't share the details, but some of the potential negatives about my job (and, let's face it--all jobs have them) appeared to come true. I haven't thrown in the towel, but I am having to consider how to approach the various situations. My father always says, "All jobs have bullshit, it is the unnecessary bullshit that makes a job intolerable." I'd have to agree with him on that. Hopefully it doesn't get any deeper.

The final night of my murder class was last night. I didn't meet anyone with whom I will keep in touch, but I did have fun and found some new authors I will enjoy.

What's up with you?

If you could make a decent living doing anything at all, what would it be?

Hotlanta

I guess the title shows how slack I am. The new "in" term for Atlanta is The A*T*L--yes, you say each letter separately. Oh well, I think they are both stupid.

I'm heading back to see my family this weekend. I'm a bit on the tired side having been hit by a bit of a stomach bug yesterday morning, but I can't wait to see everyone--except for my soon to be ex-brother in law. I really hope to avoid him. Have a great weekend, everyone!

Making my head and heart hurt

There have been a couple of local incidents that have really got me thinking. I haven't looked for articles to link, but I'm sure you could find them with a quick google if you are so inclined.

Two girls ages 13 and 14 gave birth this week. One girl was returning from a field trip and put her baby in the trash can on an airplane. The other girl was at school and attempted to flush her baby down the toilet. The first baby was found to be stillborn, so that child/mother will not be facing any charges. The second situation is still under investigation. I believe that both girls say that they did not know they were pregnant. Those are the facts as I know them.

My feelings are multi layered. I feel sorry for the girls going through such a situation so completely alone. I feel angry at the girls for for not telling anyone they were pregnant. I am angry at their parents for not being available to discuss important topics with their daughters. I am angry at their parents and teachers for not noticing that their daughters were pregnant.

Mother didn't do everything right, in fact there were many things she fucked up royally. However, she did ask me if I wanted to get on birth control pills when I started dating at 16 years old. (I was horrified that she thought I was having sex, but in retrospect, I appreciate it.) Maybe it is because we had a small house and just one bathroom, but I know there is no way in the universe that I could be nine months pregnant and she wouldn't have noticed. I didn't have a tv in my room, we actually hung out together (also perhaps because we didn't have any money--but the result was the same).

I realize this is not a "put together" series of thoughts, but any of you who read me regularly wouldn't expect that anyway. How was the sex/pregnancy thing handled in your house? Could you have been that pregnant with nobody noticing?

Any brilliant thoughts about how to deal with these huge problems?

Not your typical childhood books

In my murder class last night, I shocked a few people by telling them that I had fallen in love with a character in a book at age 12. The shock was due to the fact that I was even reading these books at age 12. The author is John D. MacDonald, and the character is Travis McGhee. He is a tarnished night who helps rescue women from difficult situations, with taking them to bed usually being part of the equation. I adore these books, even though I haven't read them in ages. I got into them because Mother read them. I couldn't bring myself to throw out a single one of them, and I still cannot. They make me feel connected to her in way that probably wouldn't make sense to anyone else. I doubt many people graduated from Nancy Drew to Travis McGhee with a few Agatha Christies thrown into the middle. However, I believe I am topped by my sister who was caught by Mother reading "Rosemary's Baby" at age 9 or 10. It was tough as a single mom to keep the voracious bookworms who were reading far above grade level out of her shelves.

So what are your favorite book memories?