Changes

There used to be a blogger who wrote here on a fairly regular basis. Then she went away into a hidey hole for many months. We'll see if this comeback has teeth or not. I'm unwilling to commit beyond trying. If I used to read your blog and comment. I have still been reading. The commenting has been as sparse as the writing.

Things here have not been the greatest. I remain homesick for Atlanta to the point of tears. I have continued to be very unhappy with my job...the kind of unhappy that makes my stomach hurt and puts me near a panic attack during commute time. Both of these things have put strains on my marriage--to the point of discussing the possibility of me moving back to Atlanta without Sweetheart on some kind of trial basis. I hope to avoid further discussions of that sort.

I finally realized that I was unhappy to the point of no return at work when I got in trouble for tardiness. I was generally not more than a few minutes late, but late is late. I mean, who gets pulled into the office for being tardy?? Only people who don't care, are unprofessional, and generally slackers. I don't consider myself to be any of those. It was a wakeup call for me to realize that hitting the snooze button one more time was so important that I was being late on a regular basis. I cared so little about my job and my professional behavior. I also realized that I was uncomfortable at work. Even though I have been there almost 2 years, I never got to the point where things were second nature. I overthought and obsessed over decisions on a daily basis. I questioned myself about things I did and didn't do. I managed to get my ass in gear and update my resume.

I started looking around for a new job, and I have gotten one. I don't think it is the dream job of the century, but I think it is a really good job that will fit me and my strengths well. I will be working in a clinic in the Spine and Neurology departments--assisting the physicians and supervising several other nurses. I turned in my notice yesterday, and the feedback has been interesting. My supervivors have been called, "a trio of monkeys." People seem to wish that they were the ones leaving. Virtually nobody has asked me why I am leaving. The environment at that job is toxic, and there are a few saving graces (the 8 hour shifts, the money and the coworkers), but not enough.

I already feel better about life in general. I know that even good change is hard, and I'm ready for it. I'm ready to work someplace where people appreciate me. I'm ready to work for managers who are less quick to point fingers than they are to help figure out WHY something wrong. I'm ready not to have to take holiday and weekend call. I'm not really ready for the making of less money, but I am looking forward to having less stress. I looking forward to continuing to work hard and to being challenged by my work. However, I am also looking forward to thinking making it to work is a better option than wrecking my car.

I'm hitting post without editing this one. I know it is a bit stream of consciousness, but that's where I am right now.

I have missed blogging and commenting. I hope to be doing more of both.