A Little Juju

Please send some prayers, good thought, positive vibes (whichever is your style) to Houston. The girls' mom was life flighted to a trauma center after a fall from a second floor balcony. Last update was only that she was intubated with "about ten doctors working on her." The twins and their stepsister are with my husband as their stepfather and grandmother are at the hospital. I feel terribly guilty not to be there with them as this unfolds. Just shows how we must treasure every day and not take anything for granted. Thanks in advance.

***Update***The news is fairly good so far (given the situation). She has multiple facial fractures and some bleeding on the brain. They will repeat the CT scan and reassess the bleeding tonight to determine if surgery is needed. The girls and Bill are all hanging in there.

Life With Poppa

This past week hasn't really been much fun. I am stresed out, tired, and feeling overwhelmed. I got myself put on blood pressure meds and I survived orientation (barely). I haven't blogged because I don't want to whine. The choices I have made are mine to deal with--and deal with them I will. Many thanks for support here and elsewhere-it truly means so much.

I thought I'd blog on something a bit lighter--moving back in with my father at the age of 45. I moved out of Mother's house 6 months after I graduated from nursing school--23 years ago. It is a bit weird being back with Poppa. I do not mean for any of this to be a complaint--my father has generously offered that I can stay as long as I wish--rent free. I am thankful for this gift. It does come with some amusing side effects, however.

When my aunt and uncle visited last week, my dad slept on the other twin bed in "my" room to give them his room. He left before I did that morning, and then called me to make sure I didn't fall back asleep. I was humored by this. I have been responsible for getting myself to work for many years, but 3 days back with him--he is checking up.

My father hasn't had a pet since he and Mother divorced when I was 8. The way he interacts with Percy and Spencer is highly entertaining--at least to him. He talks/yells at them in a regular voice--not a pet voice. When he found Spencer on his bed--he played the trumpet to make Spencer get off. When I was irritating my father (in a nice way), he took it out on Spencer--by turning the TV up as loud as possible and then going between mute and blast many times. (Spencer was in front of the TV at the time, just minding his own business.)

I asked him if the dishes in the dishwasher were clean or dirty. I didn't get a real answer. His "system" is that he never empties the dishwasher. He uses the dishes from the dishwasher and lets the dirties pile up in the sink. Then he adds those dirty ones to the clean ones and immediately runs it to clean them all.

He was out of town last week, and he texted me at 4am to tell me that Percy had just woken him up. He insists on c alling Percy "he" and "him" because "Percy is a guy's name."

It certainly seems that there are more stories that I sm forgetting at the moment. I wish that someone on FB hadn't already started the page "Shit my dad says."

Struggling

I am really struggling right now. I have made it safely "home." I am starting my new (old) job tomorrow. I was so certain that I made not just the right decision, but the only decision that made sense. I'm still not sleeping well, and I have a mouth full of ulcers that are causing significant pain. My neck seems to be better, thank goodness. I'm just really, really sad and doubting myself. I miss my husband. I miss the girls. I know this is going to take time, and I know it is hard to be positive when I am feeling such physical pain. I just feel really miserable right now. I'm hanging in there, but it really sucks. Here's hoping for a really good week.

The Week

This week is going to be tough. Tomorrow is the last day that I will see the girls. I will try so hard not to break down with them, but it is going to be so hard for me. Wednesday will be the goodbyes at work. Thursday will be the day I drive down the road towards Atlanta. I am so unbelievably sad. I am leaving a man I love very much, and frankly, it stinks. I have tons of support--both near and far, but nobody can take away the parts I have to deal with myself. I know I am strong enough to do this, but I so much wish I didn't have to do it at all.